funny quotes about

There are two kinds of light - the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. ~James Thurber



All sorts of bodily diseases are produced by half-used minds. ~George Bernard Shaw



I can't say as ever I was lost, but I was bewildered once for three days. ~Daniel Boone



Hawkeye: I wonder who persuaded her to be that.



It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. ~William Cullen, Practice of Physic



You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. ~Fight Club movie, screenplay by Jim Uhls, directed by David Fincher, novel by Chuck Palahniuk



I believe in a real, physical world. I figure if the world existed only in my mind, it would pay more attention to me. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he'd be dead within the year. ~Bette Davis



Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne



We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~Author Unknown



Nerves and butterflies are fine - they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager. You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick. ~Steve Bull



At the base of it was the urge, if you wanted to play football, to knock someone down, that was what the sport was all about, the will to win closely linked with contact. ~George Plimpton



Some people are so fond of ill-luck that they run half-way to meet it. ~Douglas Jerrold, "Meeting Troubles Half-Way," 1859



Chocolate is an antidepressant, which is especially useful as you start to gain weight. ~Jason Love



We can't afford to be so worried about losing the next election that we lose the battles we owe to the next generation. The real gamble in this election is playing the same Washington game with the same Washington players and expecting a different result. And that's a risk we can't take. ~Barack Obama, 2007 Dec 27, Des Moines, Iowa



A rolling stone gathers no moss. ~Publilius Syrus



Perhaps there should be one day a week when you tackle your "Things I Gotta Undo" list. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it. ~Jean Kerr



Here's to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented! ~Heinrich Heine



Conversation is the slowest form of human communication. ~Author Unknown