funny quotes from office

It must be admitted that there are some parts of the soul which we must entirely paralyze before we can live happily in this world. ~Sebastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort



Extract: a passage from a literary work.



Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis



Music is well said to be the speech of angels. ~Thomas Carlyle



Political campaigns are designedly made into emotional orgies which endeavor to distract attention from the real issues involved, and they actually paralyze what slight powers of cerebration man can normally muster. ~James Harvey Robinson, The Human Comedy, 1937



He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde



Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax. ~Arthur Schopenhauer



Goodness is the only investment that never fails. ~Henry David Thoreau



Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. ~George Smith Patton



False opinions are like false money, struck first of all by guilty men and thereafter circulated by honest people who perpetuate the crime without knowing what they are doing. ~Joseph De Maistre



Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking. ~Tim McMahon



Lymph, v.: to walk with a lisp. ~From a Washington Post reader submission word contest



Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. ~John Leonard



Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, a good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-dressed, well-groomed, and unaggressive. ~Marya Mannes



Mathematics and Poetry are... the utterance of the same power of imagination, only that in the one case it is addressed to the head, in the other, to the heart. ~Thomas Hill



The payment of taxes gives a right to protection. ~James M. Wayne



It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too. ~H.W. Shaw



Like all great travellers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen. ~Benjamin Disraeli



If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said "No." ~Margaret "Stevie" Smith