funny quotes for facebook

History maketh a young man to be old, without either wrinkles or gray hairs; priviledging him with the experience of age, without either the infirmities or inconveniences thereof. ~Thomas Fuller



If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart



Zeal, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. ~Ambrose Bierce



Strikeouts are boring - besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic. ~From the movie Bull Durham



Stress is an admission of weakness, a cry of defeat to the world. ~Carrie Latet



Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped. ~Author Unknown



What puzzles most of us are the things which have been left in the movies rather than the things which have been taken out. ~Agnes Repplier



Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. ~Lillian Dickson



Every civilization is, among other things, an arrangement for domesticating the passions and setting them to do useful work. ~Aldous Huxley Every civilization is, among other things, an arrangement for domesticating the passions and setting them to do useful work. ~Aldous Huxley



Our blunders mostly come from letting our wishes interpret our duties. ~Author Unknown



People will disapprove of you if you're unhappy, or if you're happy in The Wrong Way. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. ~Christopher Morley



The public history of all countries, and all ages, is but a sort of mask, richly colored. The interior working of the machinery must be foul. ~John Quincy Adams



Make the workmanship surpass the materials. ~Ovid



For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. ~Fr. Alfred D'Souza



Respect for the truth is an acquired taste. ~Mark Van Doren, Liberal Education, 1943



One more fagot of these adamantine bandages is the new science of Statistics. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride. ~Author Unknown



We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. ~Joseph Heller



It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. ~H.L. Mencken